The new year brings possibility. A reset of cycles actually brings hope.
I didn't expect to feel hopeful but as the end of 2017 barrelled towards me, I did.
I felt hope. I needed a new start and January 1 is just that, at least for me.
As unrealistic as it is to believe 2018 will be perfect and that I will feel happy (whatever that means) and safe all the time, I can say somehow something has lifted. The dark could has broken up and I actually see the light.
2017 was a hard year for me and as much as I'd like to understand it all, I'm not going to try. I'm going to just let all the trauma of 2017 be and accept the grace of it. The grace is that it's over and I'm even better than when it started. There were times I wondered about that.
Starting now, I'm devoting myself to the Possible. I've been hearing a distant voice for a while saying, "talk about what's possible", but the other voice of "look at what's wrong" has been much louder. I've been pulled back and forth between these two, resisting choosing the higher calling of the possible. I was just not ready to go there fully yet, just like many other times in my life. I resisted the possible because it seemed too hard to believe and also meant I had to let go. I had to let go of the undeniable chaos that I was often drawn into when ideologies conflicted with my deeply held beliefs. Honestly, I wasn't ready to let go, even though I knew it was where I would go in the end. I know letting go means I can no longer count on it to feed me in some weird way and I'd have to let go and accept what I cannot change.
So, I find myself at the beginning of another possibility... the space that opens up when I let go. I don't really know what that means fully, but I never do when I let go. It's unknown. It unfolds and give me the choice to step into it. So, it's 2018 and I'm stepping. I'm willing. I'm available. I'm ready.
But before I do, I want to honor what I learned this last year.
This is what it taught me:
*Possibilities are always there
*I almost always resist them... until I don't
*The process of getting to possibility always means healing what has kept me from it
*Healing happens in layers
*There comes a tipping point in each healing where the intense pain vanishes or at least
greatly subsides, when I let it.
*What I think the issue is about is usually not what it's about in the end
*The possible is so much more than I imagined
*Deep is better than wide
*Healing never ends. Ever.
Here's the best and most important thing I learned...
*It's all about showing up, letting go and trusting.
So, I declare to you, it's time for me and I believe it is for you too. So much is possible.
If you are available, let's find it together.
I Believe We Can,